Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain.
It was October of 1999 and I had decided to work late to clear a backlog of radio scripts that I needed to write. I was in my mid 20’s and very disillusioned with life, especially with my job and at a loss as what to do or where to go. I felt trapped.
Strangely though, between banging out scripts, I felt compelled to bring up a blank word doc and type a simple question at the top of the page. Even stranger, I instantly typed a message back.
Am I running away?
Yes
From what?
Yourself.
And on and on this conversation went, with a question followed by an answer for three pages.
The next day I submitted my resignation letter, downsized my life, rented a backroom at a friend’s house and started my first business, Outside Creative. It’s now been going for 14 years.
I don’t know who or what I was conversing with on my computer that night, but I encountered the same voice (so to speak), when I was writing Dying to Know – is there life after death, during the meditation sessions at the Monroe Institute Gateway Voyage Programme. There was a familiarity, a sense of closeness that brought tears to my eyes (I’m not a big crier, so it was a big thing for me), it almost felt that he was a kinder, wiser version of myself.
Those two experiences left an indelible mark.
I dipped in and out of different periods of daily mediation over the following years in order to try and reconnect with this other aspect. I felt like Indiana Jones in the search of some elusive wise monk hiding in some remote Himalayan mountain cave; however I had come up against a major stumbling block. I didn't trust myself or what I was experiencing, so I put aside the notes I took, discounting the information as untrustworthy thinking that I had I made it all up.
However months later, something still niggled away so I spent a cold Saturday morning collating all the notes (about 26 pages worth) and read them with fresh eyes and I couldn't believe what I had written. Actually I should say what someone else had written.
And that freaked me out a little. Sure I’m widely read on the topic of the afterlife, but what I was reading sounded completely different to what I would write or think about. However it all made sense, perfect sense, I felt it was right. Often when I was writing up notes and observations from the mediation, the writing would switch from first person to third person and the tone and language would change. I was receiving advice for living a good and rich life, tips for overcoming stress and depression and most poignant of all, repeated messages that I wasn't alone.
But did any of these messages hold any water? Could I apply these to my life and be any happier or at best be a better person than I am now? Will I feel closer to finding that connection to afterlife that I so desperately wanted to feel?
I decided I’m going to find out. For 30 days (all of September), I’m going to live by the advice that this wise aspect of myself had given and document the whole experience. It’ll also make an extraordinary section in the follow up to Dying to Know: is there life after death.
I know this is starting to sound pretty freaky and weird to most people but I've had enough experiences in my life to know that the world is much stranger and far more interesting than what we’re lead to believe. I can’t just sit here and do nothing with this information; I need to put it to the test.
But what were some of the messages? I’ll make that my next blog post, but in the meantime they all boil down to one simple core tenant; trust and let go.
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